Friday May 12, 2006 Thoughts slip away

I had a great thought yesterday evening. I knew just what I would say and it had some lasting meaning that everyone would appreciate. This morning my mind is a blank. That very important message that might have affected your life forever has flown the coop (so to speak). I am truly sorry. Now the quality of your life will be forever diminished and it's all my fault. Where do these thoughts come from and where do they disappear to? I'm sure there is a great novel there somewhere, but I would forget what I was writing about before I finished. It's kind of like forgetting the punch line of a joke while you are in the middle of telling it. Sorry about that! Next time I get a great world-shaking thought, I will grab the nearest crayon and scribble it down.

Thursday May 11, 2006 Wealth

You're as rich as you think you are. Wealth is an attitude. When you were small, a dollar was wealth and you planned all that you could buy with your money. As you grew the amount that satisfied this wealthy feeling grew also. How much is enough? It all depends on how much “stuff” you want to carry with you. If your requirements are minimal and your expectations small, you are probably already wealthy and happy. If your expectations are way out of line with your life, you will probably always be poor and miserable. Simplify and enjoy the wealth you have. You will always be richer than some and poorer than others. The trick is to be happy with where you are. When life is over and you leave, you carry no baggage – all that you acquired is left behind. If you leave a miserable life, it's your fault. Take stock of what you have and what you have gained in the years you have spent on this earth and enjoy what there is.

Wednesday May 10, 2006 Love is a gift

You can earn respect.
You can gain confidence.
You can draw attention to yourself.
You can gather acquaintances.
But, you must remember that love is a gift. You can't make someone love you. You can't earn somebody's love. You can't buy someone's affection. Love is given freely with no strings attached. Love can be one-sided. Just because you love someone with all your heart, it doesn't mean that your love will be returned. When you love someone unconditionally, you forgive much and overlook more. It's not necessarily your choice – you just happen to love that person -no matter what. Once you have loved someone completely and been hurt, it's hard to expose yourself to further pain. I have found that love doesn't stop when the other person has left your life and moved on – the love is still there. I love people that I haven't seen in years. And when you run into someone you love after all those years, it's like no time has passed by at all. You can't always control who you love, you just have to go with it and accept it. Just remember that your love is a gift you give freely to someone else. They may or may not return the feeling, and life will go on.

Luckily, in my family, I am surrounded by love. The love and respect that we all share gives our lives much enhancement and much comfort. I wish all could be as lucky as we.

Saturday May 6, 2006 Debt grumblings

The U.S. Treasury Department also comes up with a number for how much Americans actually owe, thanks to federal deficits. Are you sitting down? It's a chunky number: $750,000 per household. That's what you get when you take the total commitments of the feds - $49 trillion -and divide them by the number of families.

The Financial Times goes on to note that it took 204 years for the U.S. government to accumulate its first $1 trillion in debt. Now, it adds that much every 18 months. George W. Bush has added more debt than any president who ever lived. In fact, he's added more debt than all the presidents who ever lived...combined.

AND HE STILL THINKS TAXES FOR THE RICH SHOULD BE CUT?

I DON'T THINK ECONOMICS WAS HIS BEST SUBJECT.

Thursday May 4, 2006 New Mexico

I've spent the last 2 weeks in New Mexico. It's warm and dry. Temperatures about 75 to 80 and humidity about 10%. They've had less than 1/2 inch rain since last October. The forests and grasslands have to be watched very closely to make sure no fires get started. The wind comes out of the west and southwest keeping things dry. It's very different from green and moist Missouri. Nobody has grass in their yards(not enough rain). Most yards are landscaped with native bushes and plants and river rock. There is little maintenance of yards required - this allows people much more free time. They get little or no snow and very little rain so all their homes only have to deal with the sun and the dryness. It's really a pleasant place. Albuquerque is about 5,000 feet in elevation, so it doesn't get too hot in the summer and it's far enough south so it doesn't get too cold in the winter. They just celebrated their 300th anniversary of the founding of Albuquerque. An interesting town. A good place to visit.

Tuesday April 18, 2006 Sour note of the day

Inflation coming!

In a GATA (Gold Anti-Trust Action Committee) dispatch of an article in the Financial Times, they have forwarded the news that says, "The U.S. dollar extended losses in European morning trade on Tuesday amid a call from a Chinese politician for China to stop buying U.S. Treasuries. Cheng Siwei, a vice chief of China's National People's Congress, was quoted as saying that 'China can stop buying dollar-denominated bonds, and gradually reduce its holdings of U.S. Bonds'."

The central banks are (and have been) doing everything they can to prevent the dollar from rolling over, but that may soon be history. Paul van Eeden writes, "Mr. Hu Jintao, the Chinese President, is scheduled to visit Washington later this month while the United States continues to put pressure on China to let its currency appreciate against the dollar. It seems China is going to comply: In December Mr. Yu Yongding, who is a member of the monetary policy advisory committee to the People's Bank of China, said that China should weaken the link between the yuan (renminbi) and the U.S. dollar."If China starts reducing its holdings of U.S. debt and assets, or even slow the pace of buying more, then who is going to finance our current account
deficit and the federal budget deficit? Net result?
The dollar goes lower and things that we import (like oil and nearly everything else) will cost more - much more.

The good news about a falling dollar is, they say, that this lower dollar thing will make U.S. exports cheaper on the world market. So, the trade deficit will automatically shrink because we are exporting more and importing less. Unfortunately, as soon as these greedy corporations find that their prices are lower than the competitor's, they will raise prices! So, we will have the worst of both worlds: higher import prices and higher domestic prices!

Thursday April 13, 2006 Sprinters and plodders

Some of you are sprinters, some of us are not.

I've always been able to lock out the world and give a problem my full attention. It's a blessing sometimes and sometimes a curse. My one-track mind helped me in the business world when I was a project manager and had to work out complex timeing problems of construction. In the everyday world of multi-tasking, it was a hindrance. I determined long ago that some of us are sprinters and able to go full out for a short time with maximum benefit immediately and some of us plod along willing to work out all the details and take the time to find just the right solution. Those of us who plod can't often dash, but we do accomplish difficult tasks. We may not have the flash pizazz of the dasher, but they don't often have the ability to stick with the problem as long as we can. We need both in this tricky world of ours. There isn't always a quick fix for a problem and that's where the plodders come into their own. But, when there is a need for an immediate solution, it's time for the sprinter to shine.

You sprinters go on ahead and us plodders will eventually catch up and together we will solve most of the problems presented to us.

Wednesday April 12, 2006 A Discouraged Voter.

A discouraged voter.

I'm not sure where to turn. I'm thouroughly upset with the Republican congress and president running the country for the benefit of their own special interests and not really paying attention to the ordinary citizen. But, I don't see the Democrats offering any alternatives. Each of the parties are good at pointing fingers and blame at each other but poor at offering viable alternatives. I get the strong feeling that I'm being offered the special interests left hand for one party and their right hand for the other party. We seem to have the best political parties that money can buy. With all the wheeling and dealing going on and the continuing overpowering debt and the continuing war and the continuing loss of good jobs overseas, the average american citizen seems to have been left out of the formula. I watch Lou Dobbs to get an idea of what's going on behind the scenes but I don't see anyone to turn to. We get a lot of sound bites and a lot of phrases that sound like something good is going to happen, but it turns out that noone is watching the store and it's all for show. It sounds like we are spending our future right now and later it will be every man for himself. While the rich are getting richer, they are also transferring many of their assests overseas. It appears that the really wealthy are abandoning this country for China and India where there is really cheap labor and not so many protections for the workers. It feels like every last dollar has been wrung out of our society and now they are looking elsewhere. If that is really true, our immediate future could look really bleak.

Tell me it isn't so. Give me some hope. Show me the candidates that really care and who have at least some answers.

Sunday April 9, 2006 Good Grief?

There are so few people in our lives that we feel we can be completely honest and open with. We leave our true inner selves exposed and vulnerable to these few trusted people.
We hold a true and abiding love in these few people and they are our backup when we need to share our fears and hopes with someone. They are our support system. They are necessary and vital to our lives.

That's why it hurts so deeply when one of these few people are taken from our lives. We have a hollow spot down deep inside that will always remain empty. It takes time for us to harden ourselves around this deep and empty wound. There is much to grieve and only time will allow us to adjust. We live in the past with the hopes and love and dreams that we once shared. It's difficult to turn our hearts away from what was and will be no longer to an uncertain future, but this we must do. We don't know what lies ahead, but we must look for the joy that may be just around the next corner. We must not curl up into a fetal ball and cower from the life that remains. We must lift our heads and look ahead. The earth holds many marvels for us to view and feel and smell. There is more to learn and more to share. Treasure the memory of what was, but don't let the memory blind you to the beauty that still remains.

Whatever time remains is a gift to be explored.

Thursday April 6, 2006 Swimming in a tank of sharks

It's clear that we are not giving our kids good information on how to budget and handle their money. When they finish high school, the credit card companies are ready to swoop down on them and catch them in a swirl of debt that haunts them the rest of their lives. If our schools could only teach them how to handle checking, savings, budgeting and credit, it would be a tool they could use forever. Instead, we let them sink or swim in a tank of sharks.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - U.S. high school seniors continue to struggle with personal finance basics, according to a study unveiled on Wednesday at the Federal Reserve by a nonprofit financial education group.

The study tested 5,775 12th graders in 37 states on issues such as whether stocks or bonds have higher long-term returns (stocks do), whether they have to pay taxes on interest earned on savings accounts (they do), and whether they would keep their health insurance if their parents lost their jobs (they would not).

Only 14 percent said stocks were likely to have higher returns, just 23 percent realized that interest on savings accounts may be taxable and only 40 percent understood that they could lose their health insurance if their parents became jobless.

The average score for the survey was 52.4 percent -- a failing grade in most U.S. schools. Surveys in 2004, 2002 and 2000 also yielded scores in the 50-percent range.

"What we are looking at are students who by any educational standards are flunking the test of their financial lives," said Lewis Mandell, a professor of finance at the State University of New York in Buffalo, who conducted the study for the Jump$tart Coalition for Personal Financial Literacy.

The results come despite stepped-up financial education efforts as Congress dismantles boundaries between banks and investment firms and as financial companies offer a broader array of products to consumers.

"It is clear that students don't appear to be learning or retaining those things that are needed for making important financial decisions in their own interest," he said.

Tuesday April 4, 2006 Doesn't sound good.

Something to look forward to.


“Willem Buiter, a monetary astronomer at Goldman Sachs, comments:
“‘With the US trade gap in October 2005 widening to a new record U.S. $68.9 Billion, the US current account deficit is unsustainable. Its correction will require a large depreciation of the real effective US Dollar exchange rate, on reasonable estimates by no less than 30%, and quite possibly by more.’"

I guess it's no surprise. What happened to the tax surplus a few years ago? Who got all the money? From the sounds of Goldman Sachs, we are all going to end up paying for excesses of the last few years with money that is worth less.

Monday April 3, 2006 It's great to be a kid again!

This is just like the summer vacations I never got to spend as a teenager.

I started working parttime in the summers when I was 14. By the time I was 16 I had a steady parttime job throughout the summer and parttime weekends and some nights during the week. I worked steady throughout my life (except for my major trip) till I was 62. I always envied my friends who didn't have to work while going to high school or college. They had plenty of time to study and to play. That would have been a dream life. My Dad started working when he was 18 and worked steady till he was 68. My Granddad started working when he was 15 and worked steady till he was 68. I feel like I'm cheating a bit right now, because I get to enjoy the springtime weather and I'm not even 65 yet. I'm just like a kid again. It's great to just sit back and watch the clouds roll by without a worry in the world – no pressure – no great wants or needs. Life is good. I'm looking forward to visiting my daughters in New Mexico and in Wyoming. Maybe I can get up into the Rockies again this year and become a “rock” for a short time. I want to get out to see the redwoods again soon and enjoy the Oregon coast. There is so much I have seen and that I would like to revisit. There is much beauty in this nation and many wonderful people once you get away from the furor of the cities.

It's great to be a kid again!

Sunday April 2, 2006 Goody, more taxes!

It's really nice. We get to vote ourselves a tax increase, all by ourselves. And it's all for a new and improved stadium. We didn't keep up the old one, so it needs major improvements. We'll do better this time?

Usually the politicians pass the tax increases without asking us. They know best and we just have to accept their better judgement and groan. This time I guess the staggering amount of half a billion dollars was just too much for them to swallow without consulting with the public. I know that I really want to raise my taxes on everything I buy so that the billionaire owners and the millionaire players and the wealthy business men who profit from the sports business won't have to front the money themselves. I used to be able to afford to go to a game now and then, but that was 20 years ago or so. Since then, I would rather buy food for my family or pay a bill than spend the money to go to a game. They keep telling me all the good things that sports have done for me – all the business revenue that they have brought to our fair city. That's probably why my property taxes and sales taxes have only increased by 50% over the years instead of doubling. Now don't get me wrong, I think sports are good character builders for young men and women and the fact that some of the professionals take drugs or set bad examples shouldn't detract from the sport. It's a game. It allows young men to play a game for a few years before they have to settle down and work. In the old days, the players knew this and enjoyed their years of play, knowing that eventually they would have to settle on a career. Now many of the players consider the few years of play a career in itself and plan on retiring after their years are up. We have allowed (or rather, big business has allowed) this new concept to develop and here we are. Big business would sure like us, the public, to pay for their excesses and finance their business so they just have to worry about making money. That's why it's nice that we get to vote ourselves a nice tax increase, even if we can't afford to go and watch them play their games.

Friday March 31, 2006 Saving Daylight

Start saving daylight tomorrow night!

By the way, what do I do with all the daylight I'll be saving?
I don't really need that much extra daylight. Is there someway I can redistribute the daylight I save to those who need more? Besides, whenever we start messing around with the clocks, I'm always early or late (when actually, I'm right on my time). It gets so confusing. I don't know whether to go to bed early and sleep more or go to bed late and sleep less. I have seen homes with solar panels on their roofs – have they found a way to hoard daylight? I wonder what kind of interest you can get on saved daylight. Can you release the saved daylight late in winter when it's so darned dark? If we can save daylight now, why don't we save it all year long? I guess the old saying “late to bed and early to rise keeps you confused, worried and wise” still holds true. Wake me when it's over.

Saturday April 1, 2006 Tis my day!

Oh happy day!
They do have one day a year just for me. I can be a fool today and get away with it. It's expected of me!! You notice they didn't make a May grumpy day for you or a June sleepy day for him or even a July dopey day for the other fellow - NO, they just made my day for me. Yes, I freely admit it – I'm the April fool for which this day is named. I've always been an April fool – I fell in love with April in my youth. I just want to hug April and frolic about – maybe fly a kite or sing in the rain. When you're an April fool, you can do any silly thing you feel like doing (people may frown, but under their breath they will mutter “look at that April fool”. I used to be a young fool, so I got a lot more frowns. Now that I'm an old fool, people just shake their heads and walk away.

Enjoy my day. I give permission to any and all of you to celebrate the April fool in each of your souls. We may be fools, but at least we'll be having fun.

Wednesday March 29, 2006 Teddy Roosevelt

Theodore Roosevelt on Immigrants and being an AMERICAN

"In the first place we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the man's becoming in very fact an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag, and this excludes the red flag, which symbolizes all wars against liberty and civilization, just as much as it excludes any foreign flag of a nation to which we are hostile...We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language...and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."

Theodore Roosevelt 1907


"Americanization" was a favorite theme of Roosevelt's during his later years, when he railed repeatedly against "hyphenated Americans" and the prospect of a nation "brought to ruins" by a "tangle of squabbling nationalities."

He advocated the compulsory learning of English by every naturalized citizen. "Every immigrant who comes here should be required within five years to learn English or to leave the country," he said in a statement to the Kansas City Star in 1918. "English should be the only language taught or used in the public schools."

He also insisted, on more than one occasion, that America has no room for what he called "fifty-fifty allegiance." In a speech made in 1917 he said, "It is our boast that we admit the immigrant to full fellowship and equality with the native-born. In return we demand that he shall share our undivided allegiance to the one flag which floats over all of us."

My grandfather came to America with his family in the 1880s. They learned English (would not speack German again). They didn't consider themselves to be German-Americans - They were Americans and proud to be so. They did their best to be good citizens and to blend in with all the other people here who all had immigrants in their family history. We should all try to blend - not maintain our separateness. The people who came to this country showed real pioneer spirit and great fortitude to leave all behind and start a new life in a strange new world. We should be proud of their spirit and honor their commitment by being good Americans.

Tuesday March 28, 2006 Immigration

I'm turning into my grandfather! Hopefully!

I didn't know my grandfather very well, but I have this image of a very kind and thoughtful man who worked hard to keep his family happy and healthy. He lived a long time and was very intelligent. I would like to be remembered like him.

Grandad was born in Berlin, Germany in 1877. His father was a carpenter and they lived on Belejank strase near what became Templehofer air field. Granddad attended Kindergarten under Kaiser Wilhelm when Germany was being militarized. The children would march at recess. Grandad's folks wanted to get away from that, so they sold everything and left everybody they knew and traveled by boat and train to this strange new frontier town of Kansas City, Kansas in 1884. Mud streets, no street lights, saloons and cowboys – quite a change from civilized Berlin. They had to learn new language and new customs and start a whole new life here. This was before the reforms of Teddy Roosevelt – no child labor laws. Granddad learned his letters and numbers and at the age of 15 went to work in the meat packing plants for 5 cents an hour. He worked hard and eventually made 10 cents an hour. In the late 1890s he married an irish lass from Chicago and they ended up in Wichita, Kansas. They were married for over 50 years. Grandad worked in the meat packing plants for over 50 years and raised 6 children. Although he had little formal education, he read constantly with an enquiring mind and insisted that all of his children complete their high school education. Grandad would get the Chicago Tribune Sunday paper and read from front to back and then discuss the events and discoveries of the times. Grandad lived through the early days of electricity and electric lights, radio, automobiles, airplanes, television, two world wars and the great depression until he died in 1969. He was 92.

His legacy: He cared for his family. He was loyal. He worked hard. He enjoyed life. He kept learning his whole life. He was a kind and caring man. He left behind a loving family and they, in turn, have passed on his traits.

I hope I turn out to be just like him.

Monday March 27, 2006 Food for thought

Food is good.

No, I mean food is really good!

Throughout my life food has always been a reward. You were a good boy, have a cookie. Be good at the dentist and we'll get you a milkshake afterwards. Christmas is coming, have some candy. Easter is coming, have some candy. Halloween is coming, have some candy. Be good and you can have an ice cream cone. Her's some money to get some popcorn and candy at the show.

I learned my lesson well – I have excelled in all courses of food. There should be a degree is eatery – I would have my doctorate. I've been such a good boy that I reward myself way too often. It took a lot of time and money, but I've done well. I have eaten my way through life and have all this wonderful weight to show for it. I've always held to the principle that I would rather have a short enjoyable, delicious life than a long miserable, tastelss life. You only go around once in life – so reach for the gusto and the chips and the cookies and enjoy life, every golden crumb.

I suppose I would feel differently if I had been whipped or mistreated at each mealtime. I wasn't. Supper was a pleasant experience with the whole family sharing the moment after smelling the wonderful smells emanating from the kitchen just prior to supper. We had Sunday drives with the family and usually stopped and got an ice cream cone. Vacations were wonderful experiences of stopping in strange diners and eating prepared meals at the counter or cafe table. As we traveled we snacked on the local produce or locally prepared delicacy. Harvest time was canning time and we had apples and tomatoes and peaches and greenbeans coming out our ears. When the various fruit seasons came along, we always ended up with bountious quantities of oranges or strawberries or apples. We would get bushels and eat until we couldn't eat any more. It seemed to me, as a child, that mom spent most of her time in the kitchen preparing meals. Mom was sweet and kind and always had a smile and a treat for us.

When company came into town it was a time for special meals and dressing up the dining room table. With PTA or scouting or church activities there was always some kind of pot luck dinner or special cakes and cookies and pies. Summer was picnics in the park with deviled eggs and potatoe salad and hotdogs and soda pop.

As I was helping to raise my kids, we had an annual event where they could pick out the finest restaurant in town, get all dressed up, and choose anything on the menu. They looked forward with great anticipation to each year's choice.

So, here I am – a heavyweight. I've worked all my life to get here with great diligence and effort and great taste. I do envy many of you wonderfully thin people and your trim, athletic bodies, but that's not me. You see, I was born with a special tongue that loves every taste of everything that is put into my mouth. With a tongue like that, you have to keep feeding it. I am well along in my short enjoyable, delicious life now but hopefully there will still be some delicious new tastes to encounter and smells to enjoy.

Meanwhile, enjoy your long miserable, tasteless lives and think good thoughts of me.

Saturday March 25, 2006 Unmatched socks

It happened again!

I washed a load of clothes and one unmatched sock turned up. I keep all the unmatched socks separately knowing that if I threw out the unmatched socks the other sock would then come out of hiding. I believe there is a nest of unmatched socks somewhere in this house plotting their escape. I don't know if they mate for life – I'm not up on native sock lore, but I'm sure they believe that somehow they will reunite. Now remember that socks aren't too smart – after all, they are lacking brain matter – even when they are full. But, they are sneaky – very sneaky. You know how sometimes at night you wake up and don't know why (perhaps you heard something). You listen and then return to your slumber. It was one of the sneaky socks slithering away to hide in some unseen sock haven.

I thought I had figured out a defense for these escapees – I bought all black socks (a whole drawer full). I knew now that whenever one of my socks escaped I could match up the remaining member with another black sock.

Unfortunately, some black socks are heavier weight than others and some are longer than others and some have patterns woven into them and some have imprints of diamonds or stripes on them. I had to go out to the wholesale club and buy 8 dozen identical black socks (I wasn't going to let them win!). I also had to warn my friends and relatives not to give me socks for any occasion – they would just try to escape.

When I bought all those socks from the wholesale club I threw away my former socks – a fresh start! I felt much better then.

This morning one of the escaped unmatched socks turned up.

I think I'll hang it up on one of these extra hangers that keep turning up. (I have a whole closet full now).

Monday March 20, 2006 Just another thought

All men are NOT created equal.

I'm sorry, but it just isn't true.
Some of us are taller, some are fatter, some at smarter, some are stronger, some are richer, some are healthier. Some of us will live longer than others. Some will have a happier life while others will muck around their whole lives. Some of us were lucky enough to have two loving parents. Not all of us have the same advantages.

Last night I was watching a special about Ewing Kauffman. He was the owner of Marion Laboratories here in Kansas City. He amassed a large fortune and was good enough to share his wealth with fellow Kansas Citians. He believed that if you gave a young disadvantaged student a chance to get a good education, that young person could achieve a better life. Ewing made a contract with hundreds of students here in town that if they would work hard and complete their high school education with adequate grades, he would provide them with a four year full scholarship with books and room and board. Many of these kids took his offer, stuck with school and completed their college educations at various universities around the nation. It proved that if you give everyone an equal chance and opportunity, they can improve their lives. Mr Kauffman firmly believed that education is the key to making your life better and he helped show that.

Unfortunately, there aren't enough Kauffman's around to do the same for the thousands of students in school today. Many of these students will not have the finances to fund further education. Now with the manufacturing facilities leaving the United States in greater and greater numbers, it is vital that we find some way to improve the plight of the upcoming generations. Education has been free to all children through high school for some years now and it helped the nation to have educated workers available to our various manufacturing requirements. Times have changed and the requirements now require greater levels of education. Why don't we take it upon ourselves as a nation to provide higher education to all students? If a student hasn't the aptitude for college, he should be given technical training to help him find a better job. If we invest our money in creating a better educated populace, won't it pay off in the long run with higher paying jobs and higher collected tax revenue? We spend so much money on special interest projects and throw away so much money on wars and war materials. We defeated our old nemesis, Russia. We now have ties with China. We are the remaining super power on Earth. We shouldn't have to have any wars with these little countries that are no threat to us. There should be a peace dividend. Instead, we create wars to keep our expensive military machine well oiled. Why can't we invest in our own future?

To me, it makes sense for our elected government to help us all to better ourselves. It makes sense for the government to step in and make sure that all of us are healthier and better educated. We would be pulling ourselves up by our own bootstraps and ensuring a better future. As it stands now, the health and education is distributed primarily to those who can afford it and the rest of our citizenry are left on the outside staring in. They know that they aren't equal to those who have the advantages and never will be.

Monday March 20, 2006 SPRING?

Spring has SPRUNG! - a leak.

The sky is leaking, the sky is leaking.

Here all winter has been pleasant and dry – warm temperatures and sunny skies and no snow. Now that spring has arrived, it gets cold and rains (talk of sleet). That's not right!! Spring breezes should waft over us as we gaze contentedly at the puffy March clouds and think of picnics and flying kites. But NOOO, we have to bundle up and watch the grey sky fall over the whole grey earth turning everything grey and cold and damp and dark and dreary.

I would move someplace else but everywhere is grey today.
I think I'll go back to bed and wait for the real spring.

Saturday March 18, 2006 Lucky Thirteen?

Thirteen is supposed to be an unlucky number to some. I'm not sure why.

I was reading the other day that the average American lifespan is about 78 years. This means that I may have 13 years left in this life. 78 breaks down into six batches of 13. I have spent 5 of my batches getting to the age of 65 and now have my final batch of 13 to look forward to. Those batches seem to be shorter and shorter with the years. The first batch of 13 took a long time to pass by. I learned to walk and talk and write and all the fundamental requirements to get along in life during those 13 years. The next 13 years, I spent in high school and college and establishing a foothold in a career and gaining a wife and children and a home – Very busy years!

The next three batches of 13 years are a blur with a collage of memories stumbling over each other leading through a myriad of adventures culminating in this very moment.
Here I am at retirement (just the other day, I was a young man starting out).
Life flew by so quickly.

I have maybe 13 years left in this, my life, to enjoy. I understand now that life is to be savored and tasted – not to just be consumed. I understand now that each day is special and has some redeeming quality to be remembered – if you just take the time to recognize it. Each season has it's flavor to be experienced – not just endured. Some grey days may have a bitter taste with heart-wrenching memories, but they must take their place in your memory. They will help make the sweet tasting days seem that much sweeter and add color to your memories.

I hope that the next 13 years are lucky years. I will try to notice the sunsets and listen to the music and feel the wind.

Friday March 17, 2006 Was Saint Patrick really Happy

Happy Saint Patrick's day!
The question is: "Was he really happy?". Did he really drive all the snakes out of Ireland? Did he really like green beer? Did he ever participate in his own parade? I think maybe he had a great publicist and we are left with the hype. But, it is an excuse to get Irish and to get Crazy.

I remember as a young college fellow getting the green tongue from drinking all the green beer. Those were the days! You could stay up all night partying and carrying on and still take on the work or study of the following day with your head half on your shoulders. I got an email the other day from one of my fraternity brothers of those long ago days. It brought back many wonderful memories of days gone by when I lived each day to the fullest with very few worries and very few obligations. We shared some glorious hours together back then. St Patrick's Day would have been just another excuse to celebrate our youth and our lives with vigor and recklessness. We were lucky to survive, but we did have fun.

St Patrick was a roman citizen from Britain who converted many of the Celts on Ireland to Christianity. I think his day was originally a celebration of his accomplishments, but it has now been adopted all over the world as a day of Celtic celebration - a day when everybody can celebrate the bit of Irish in himself. Have a happy day.

Tuesday March 14, 2006 No coherent thoughts

I must be in a spring daze - I can't seem to put my thoughts into any sort of meaningful sentences. Words and images and thoughts tumble through my brain but I can't seem to communicate coherently. What, me worry? When you are in a daze, things don't faze. Life can be sweet, if you don't retreat. If you're hale and hearty, then you can party. No query, no worry.

Better thoughts ahead.

Tuesday March 7, 2006 Almost Spring

Almost spring!

It's that time of the year again, almost spring. We have been cooped up in the house all winter with cold winds and grey skies – we yearn for blue skies, spring breezes and fresh air. We start thinking of adventures we might have to look forward to - even the simple pleasure of lying back in the grass and watching the clouds or having a picnic or flying a kite.

Almost spring gets the blood to pumping. We take any break in the weather to get outside and breathe. St Patricks Day is a great excuse to ignore the weather and enjoy the first thoughts of spring. We're like bears who have hibernated all winter and are now just coming out of our caves.

I'm ready.

Friday March 3, 2006 There is always tomorrow

The pain I had the other day made me sit up and take notice.

It turned out not to be a “killer” pain, but I didn't know that when it came. I suddenly realized that I had put off way too many things for the future. I had a will form and a living will form, all ready to fill out but put off till some future date. I had an idea of creating a list of accounts and resources and deeds and getting everything organized, but I had put that off till some future date. There was a long list of things that I had put off till some future date and when I was heading over to the hospital, I figured it might be too late.

It worried me.

Luckily everything turned out well and now I have time to get organized and leave things in order in case anything happens. I have never been one to keep a neat and tidy desk. I always know where to find things, but it would be a tremendous job for someone else to sort through and find important documents and such. Now that I've had a warning, I know that I really shouldn't put these things off any further.

One of these days I will get everything organized and labeled and easily found. I'll even get my will and living will made out. I have these things on my list now so that relieves me quite a bit. I've had a list for some time now which includes cleaning my bedroom.
I'm going to do that – very soon.
I need to clean out the garage too, once it gets nice.
I would clean out the basement, but my back gives me quite a bit of trouble. I have that on the list too.
The attic fan quit working about 10 years ago and I need to fix that.
The faucet in the kitchen leaks a bit, so that needs some fixing.
I really should paint the ceilings and have new walpaper put up.
The carpeting needs cleaning.

When I get to thinking about it, the list just keeps on growing.

Maybe it's bad to make lists – too much pressure. If you don't think about it, it won't worry you. There, that feels better. What worries? What list? I think I'll go watch some TV and rest my back.

There is always tomorrow.

Thursday March 2, 2006 Life can be a pain

You know how some auto mechanics are better than others? Sometimes, it's the neighborhood service station mechanic who has a better feel for what ails your car than the specialist at the dealership. Sometimes even they can't figure out why the red light on your dashboard is on saying “check engine”. My check engine light has been on one of my cars for about 6 years (100,000 miles) and each time I ask a mechanic, he can't figure it out. It may be a glitch in the computer. Keep an eye on it and see if you notice anything different.

I consider doctors much the same as auto mechanics except they are human body mechanics. Some are better than others. Some have a better feel for what ails you. Sometimes they can't figure out why you're having a problem. They can often run batteries of tests eliminating one thing or another, but if those don't give them an answer, they figure it must be a glitch in your computer. Keep an eye on it and see if you notice anything different.

I had a pain the other day and it worried me enough to go to the doctor (which is unusual for me). The neighborhood doctor couldn't immediately figure it out so he sent me to the emergency room to see if they could figure it out. The emrgency people ran some tests but they couldn't figure it out, so they admitted me and had a specialist run some tests. He eliminated most of the main worries (heart, lungs, etc) and told me to go home and keep an eye on it and see if I notice anything different. I'm to go back to my neighborhood doctor in a week and start over again from square 2.

Now that I know that the pain is not likely deadly it doesn't bother me as much, although it is still there. You can live with aches and pains when you know why they are there or know that they aren't going to kill you. I've lived with a bad back for many years and as long as I can get by without surgery I'll wait for further developments. Doctors and auto mechanics do their best, but sometimes it's difficult to figure out what's wrong with the old machines and unless you are lucky enough to find just the right one, you're going to have to learn to live with some of the problems. It's really hard to replace the old body – you can't just trade it in on a new one.

Sunday February 26, 2006 Thank God

I'm not one to push religion on anyone. I believe that every person can believe whatever they want to – it won't really change what truly IS.

But, God and I were having this discussion the other day (actually, I was talking to God and hopefully He was listening), and I remembered when I would talk to Him every day when I was on my trip around the country. Each day was a miracle and the beauty that surrounded me was breathtaking and I let God know how much I appreciated everything He had set forth before me. I don't talk to God as often now and I know that I should. It seems that each time I talk now, I'm apologizing for not having spoken lately. I get so wrapped up in ME and MY events that I forget to talk to HIM. (I know God is far beyond gender and name, God is the all powerful force and reason for all that exists, but I feel more comfortable thinking of God as HIM and God doesn't seem to mind). I thank Him for all the help He has given me and all my family, we seem to have been blessed. I thank Him for smiting me on occasion when I need to learn a lesson. I don't hold any grudges against God for any mishaps that might occur during my life, I trust Him to have reasons for all events. Actually, I think that He lets us pretty much do our thing and observes most of the time. I don't believe that the earth and the human race are all that important to Him in the overall scheme of things, but I do believe that He is big enough and powerful enough to intercede whenever He wishes. The power of prayer (what I call coversations with God) can't be overlooked. You don't get everything you pray for and it doesn't always happen when you wish, but it does seem that many prayers get answered. That's why I talk to Him and thank Him and ask for His help when there is noone else to turn to.

God is really a GOOD guy. I don't believe there is an evil thought that exists in Him. Everything that God is involved with is a good thing and is part of His plan. I believe that any evil that exists is created by the human race. We flounder around and make many mistakes and some of us are not kind to each other. Some of us won't share and some of us take more than our fair share. We have created the politics and divisions of different peoples on this earth and some of us suffer because of that. It isn't God's fault. He just lets us make our mistakes and lets us learn our lessons and if we fail, then it's our own fault.

Anyway, that's kind of what I think about that. You may think something different and that's okay, because God doesn't mind if you do.

Tuesday February 21, MMVI EQUIVOCAL

The word for today is: EQUIVOCAL

Meaning:
1. Open to two or more interpretations and often intended to mislead; ambiguous.
2. Of uncertain significance.
3. Of a doubtful or uncertain nature.

Used in a sentence:
George's reasons given for going to war were EQUIVOCAL.

Sunday February 19, 2006 Backtracking

Have you ever wandered through a dense woods?
You generally follow the path of least resistance, but it doesn't always lead you to where you want to go. It's clearly the easiest path but it deadends at a clearing or a stream or someone's home. You end up backtracking to find the less traveled path to your destination. Your path may have more brambles and bushes and may not be as smooth or easy to follow as the other path, but at least you will get where you want to go. If you travel through life following the path of least resistance, you often end up at the wrong place and at the wrong time. You may lose time and effort backtracking and correcting your course, but it is necessary to do so if you want to reach your goal.

I thought that I had it all figured out. I studied the market and read all the right newsletters and columns written by all the “experts” and set out to conquer the market and accomplish great things with my retirement investments. You carefully analyze all available documents and once you arrive at a sane and logical conclusion, you concentrate your investments in that area and wait for the values to increase. You have no intention of gambling with your slowly acquired nest egg – you want to invest it wisely and safely. Then one day God stretches out his hand and smites thee. He hits you in the head with a 2x4 just to get your attention and then gently destroys your tower of logical investments. You realize once more that nothing is sure and definite in this world and you are definitely NOT in control. It turns out that the experts can be as wrong as you and that all the figuring in the world can't sway the market once a panic takes over the thundering herd. What once was a wonderful bargain worth all your praise is now just a house of cards and stock certificates worth little in the future.

So, I find myself backtracking trying to find the right path to reach my goal. I have less to burden me as I strike out on new trails. I carry a bit more wisdom with me and I am a bit more humble now. I realize that all your eggs in one basket can break more easily when you trip. I'll take it a bit more slowly now and watch each step more carefully.

A word from the once-smitten – be careful out there and don't believe everything you read.

Tuesday February 14, 2006 Life and Death

Death lies ahead for each and every one of us.

For some, it is far away and it doesn't consume much of our thoughts.
For some, it is imminent and the thought of death and it's implications occupies more of our thoughts.
As you get older, you think more often about death.
You have built a life and you wonder what you will leave behind.
You think about what happens after death.

You have spent your whole life building yourself and the way you think. It seems such a waste if all that effort is for nothing. Hopefully, the essential you will continue after your body succumbs to death. You begin to see yourself as two essential elements – the physical body and the thoughtful soul. You realize that your body fails with age, but your mind keeps acquiring knowledge and developing your whole life. By the time you figure it all out, it's all over.
Not fair!

Death is not to be feared, it is as natural as birth. We must know that it is coming someday and plan for it. No matter what lies after death, we should leave no strings untied. We should try to balance our life so there is no hatred or loss left behind. All we leave behind us is memories in those persons we shared life with. If we enjoyed life and shared that joy with others, we did well. Perhaps we will leave a smile in the minds of those who knew us. It would be great to leave the earth a better place by our efforts - if not a better place, perhaps a happier place.

We do what we can do and hopefully die with a smile of our face for a life well lived.

Saturday February 11, 2006 On a brighter note

On a brighter note, it snowed just a bit last night.

There is just a dusting out there, but it hides the brown and gray. Everything looks clean and bright. There is a crispness in the air and silence in the wind. Whenever it snows, it seems that the snow muffles the sounds of the world around us and we sink into the natural beauty of the moment. It may be cold, but it sure is pretty. Later we can worry about the mush and slush. Right now, we are kids again in a winter wonderland.

Friday February 10, 2006 Don't you get tired?

Don't you get tired of listening about the antics of our politicians.
You get mad when they just don't seem to understand the common man's needs and desires. They have their agenda and it doesn't seem to include us. When one party goes overboard in one direction, we wait for the other party to come up with a logical alternative and draw the political rhetoric back to the middle, but it's easier to cast dispersions on the rulers than to offer sensible suggestions. We end up with each party villifying the other and not having faith in either. We cherish the idea that our representatives are there to represent us and to watch out for us. It seems that we have the best political system money can buy. What's the use? Without the money you can't sway a single vote in favor of the majority. There are just too many special interests with way too much money influencing our leaders. Integrity gives way to compromise and we overlook graft and corruption as part of the price we must pay to get elected. Every person who has been elected “owes” some special interest(s) favors.

The problem is that only rich people have the wherewithal to pay for a campaign and if they don't have the money, they have to surrender their favors to those who do. Whoever we get to vote for is already bought and paid for.

It's sad.

Tuesday February 7, 2006 No monetary sense at all.

WASHINGTON (MarketWatch) -- President Bush on Monday sent Congress a $2.77 trillion budget request that would boost defense spending, while trimming Medicare and other government programs even as first-term tax cuts are extended.

The budget doesn't fully account for expected costs associated with the ongoing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. White House officials last week said war-related supplemental spending would likely top $120 billion in the current fiscal year.

Bush also seeks to cut projected spending on mandatory entitlement programs by $65 billion over five years, with the bulk coming from measures designed to hold down outlays for Medicare, the health-care program for the elderly, by $36 billion through 2011. Mandatory spending refers to programs such as Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security, in which outlays are set automatically according to the number of beneficiaries and other factors.

We can cut education and health costs and help for the poor, but we need to add money to the pockets of the wealthy and to help fund a war that wasn't necessary in the first place.

The people who make the monetary decisions for this country have no common sense. If they ran my budget, I would be bankrupt and living under a bridge with no food and no medical help and no future.

Wait a minute! They are running my budget!

Monday February 6, 2006 How much is too much?

“The Bush administration will ask Congress soon for another $120 billion to pay for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, bringing total spending since the Sept. 11 attacks to about $440 billion.

The war in Iraq is costing about $150 million a day, while continued fighting in Afghanistan is costing about $27 million a day.

In 2002, White House economic adviser Lawrence Lindsey suggested the cost could reach $200 billion. Mitch Daniels, then the White House budget director, said Lindsey's number was too high, and said the cost would be $60 billion or less. Lindsey resigned a few months later.”

-USA Today

It's beginning to sound like Iran is next on the hit list.
But that's all right, we're rich and powerful. We're the biggest kid on the block.

Wednesday February 1, 2006 The State of George

What is the benefit of a doubt?

The dictionary says that doubt as a noun is a lack of trust.
What is the benefit of a lack of trust?

The news says that many voters gave George the benefit of a doubt in the last election because they thought he was sincere and strong and could be trusted.
Now he gets no such benefit from a majority of the voters.

We are now being guided by a man who we do not trust. We accepted many of his statements and arguments with trust and faith that he knew more than we did about what was going on and that he had a plan to solve the problems. It is obvious now that the only people who have benefitted from his presidency are the rich and powerful. We have lost many of our good paying jobs, we have lost our health coverage, we have added to our debt, our future looks uncertain, but definitely not brighter. We face mounting problems with no plan that will solve them.

His state of the union speech acknowledged no mistakes. He points to those who disagree with him as being unpatriotic. He says we must stay the course (even if the course is misguided and off course). He has three more years to help scrap more of our programs and shift the wealth permanenttly from the poor and middle class to the wealthy.

Trust me, he says. Would he lie to you?
What is his real agenda?

Monday January 30, 2006 Decisions

For years I've told my girls that throughout life you will make many decisions. Sometimes your decision will take you away from the path you thought you wanted to follow, but here you are. You might think of each decision an a “Y” in the road. You can go this way or you can to that way. Only time will tell if you made the wisest decision. You can never go back and change that decision, you can only go forward from this moment in time deciding where you go from here. Life has a way of leading you inadvertantly to where you are – not at all where you thought you would be.

The important thing to remember is you do have control from this point forward – no use having the “poor me” attitude about spilt milk. If you carefully weigh the major decisions in your life, you will have few “if onlys” to look back upon. Keep a positive attitude and know that whatever trials and travails you have faced so far in life, they have made you the person you are today and perhaps given you the wisdom to avoid future problems.

There are no wrong decisions, there are just decisions with consequences you must live with. Life will take you on interesting paths and you need to enjoy the trip – wherever you go. In the long run, the wisest and the dumbest, the richest and the poorest, the lucky and the unlucky end up in the same place – just a memory. The important thing is that you took the time to enjoy what you had.

Saturday January 28, 2006 Desiderata

It's time to again look at the words and meaning in the Desiderata. It always brings me much peace.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms will all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And, whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

Thursday January 26, 2006 BOB

BOB is such a perfect word.
There are no wasted letters – no frills – ya get what ya see. It's the same backwards and forwards. It can only sound like it sounds (oh, I suppose some might try to sound it like BOHB, but they would be stretching out a perfectly formed word). Even if you sound it wrong, there is no denying what you are saying. See how it trips out of your mouth so quickly and cleanly – no fumbling with the tongue or pursing the lips. It's got such a great sound. It is distinct and can't be confused with any other sound – it is “bob” - the perfect word.

Unlike GEORGE with all the unsounded letters and twisting of the lips and grimacing. Why haven't we ever had a president with the name of Bob? Now there's a name you can trust.

Wednesday January 25, 2006 Superfluousity

My sister's name is Carole.

I got to thinking about that. The "e" at the end is what they call superfluous. Her middle name is Anne. Guess what?

I got to thinking about the word superfluous. If a letter or word is superfluous does that mean another letter or word is fluous? I looked up fluous – no such name. If you can't have fluous, why can you have superfluous? Maybe there should be underfluous – no such luck.

I sure would like to talk to the man who invented our language. Nobody takes credit for inventing it. Maybe someone should copyright the english language and straighten it out.

You could make a lot of money that way, charging each person for each word. You would need to hire the government to help spy on people to make sure of their word usage. I think they already have the apparatus in place. If you didn't have the money, you couldn't write or speak english. Of course, you might want to rename it – maybe Robert. That's it, you could all talk Robert.

It would be a lot better than speaking Carole, with a superfluous letter.

Thursday January 19, 2006 A matter of perspective

It's all a matter of perspective.

I just happen to be further up the road than most of you and I'm looking back down the road while you are looking up the road. I know many of the potholes, curves, detours and straightaways that you have yet to face and although the road is constantly changing, I would love to warn you of impending difficulties. I know that until you drive over the road yourself you can't truly appreciate some of the beauty and some of the horrors that you will witness, but if you will just take note of some of the warnings I will try to post for some of the more dangerous parts of the journey, you will have a safer trip.

The journey is what it's all about. You must enjoy the scenery you are passing through or you will miss the point of the journey. If you keep your eyes focused only on the road ahead, you will reach your ultimate destination, but you won't have enjoyed the trip at all.

When you approach the end of your trip, you can look back over your journey and see so well where you might have taken a needless side trip or avoided one of the hazards. There is no going back, there is just going forward, but, with a little advice, you can help others on their journey to enjoy and appreciate what they are about to encounter.

I've had a great trip so far and I'm eager to face the next leg of my journey. There is so much to learn and so much to see and so many to share with. Life is good.

Wednesday January 18, 2006 Who I am and where I am

Who I am and where I am.

Now that I'm retired, I have a lot of time on my hands. Being a divorced single means that I have noone to argue with but myself and I always win those arguments. Actually, I've found that most of the time I completely agree with myself. It's very difficult always being right. With nobody else to discuss and debate with, you spend a lot of time in introspection. You get to know yourself pretty well, but it's hard to be critical and it's very difficult to find the flaws in your character that someone else could easily point out.

You have no bosses to tell you what to do and when to do it. You have noone else to command your time and energy. There are few distractions that are not of your own making. Life can be very agreeable, but a bit bland at times. The world is your oyster, but predictable.

The dreams that I remember are often of former friends and places and work. I seem to be creating a dreamworld with adventures real or imagined and problems to solve. They are much like mystery novels, half familiar and half fiction.

Over the years, I have had great adventures and I'm very glad I had those experiences while I was physically able to have them. Youth had it's advantages and memory is a great way to relive those days. I enjoy the simpler pleasures now, but I do enjoy looking back over the photographs in my mind. As you age, you become more comfortable with yourself and you learn your limitations. You accept yourself and you gain patience and acceptance of where you are in life.

Monday January 16, 2006 Words

Play on words.
Play with words.
One word leads to another and our amazing mind wanders (wonders) through a maze.

Obtuse, obscure, observe, obverse, adverse, advertise, seek, sneak, snuck, snooze

fascinating, facilitating, facility, faculty, faculties, tease, trees, sneeze, snooze
vacillating, vacuum, cumulating, cumulus, stratus, status

Your mind can wander aimlessly connecting the dots.

Tuesday January 10, 2006 Not always for the best

The world is ever changing.

The world now is not what I remember of it as a child. The world my father knew when he was young is long gone. I suppose that this is the way it has always been. We adapt our surroundings to us rather than adapting to our surroundings. If a hill is in the way, we cut it down or move it. We fill the valleys and dam the rivers. We cut down the forests and farm the plains. We destroy farmland and build shopping centers. We sprawl. We fence. We reshape. We drive around in our climate controlled cars from our climate controlled homes to our climate controlled offices, never taking the time to notice the disappearing landscape about us.

My grandfather came at a time before automobiles. They walked, rode horses or took trains to get places. My father came at a time before interstates and jet travel. They had one car per family and pretty much stayed in their neighborhoods. I came at a time when kids could play in the streets because there wasn't much traffic. When snow came, the city would barricade the hills and kids would sled.

Later, when I pursued a career, I helped remold the world around us. I worked in the structural steel business and we helped cover the fields with buildings. Unfortunately, many buildings aren't built to last forever and many of the first buildings I helped build were later replaced with newer and "better" buildings. Our monuments are only temporary and hold little value in the long run.

It's nice to know that the mountains are still there and that the eagles still soar over forests of green. It isn't something you can see here in the city. Maybe that's why we keep ripping up the farmland, trying to get out to the edge of the city where there is still some natural beauty.

Friday January 6, MMVI Sorting it all out

Day and night, thoughts race through my mind.

At night I dream strange concoctions of former friends in unfamiliar places with current problems. I don't remember my dreams, but I know that they are always there. Sometimes when I wake up at night, I remain immersed in my dream of the moment and know that it will continue so long as I don't completely wake up. The next morning, I'm lucky to remember that I was dreaming at all.

Throughout the day, my mind wanders with no direction from this memory to that person to this object to that situation to this image or that song. My mind seems to be sorting out all the data that has collected in my brain over all the years and is trying to make sense of it all. Mostly, life just happens. You have certain long term plans and certain short term activities, but life happens from moment to moment with little guidance other than a general direction you decide to go in. Structure breaks down when you least expect it and life seems to flow by while you watch. I've collected many images and memories and many plans over all the years. My brain has much to sort out.

I don't expect any startling revelations if and when my brain ever completes it's task. I just hope that I'm left with pleasant memories to think about and happy songs to hum.

Wednesday January 4, 2006 A different year?

It's another new year.

I've been through a few of these. You always hope for the best, but often you just get another mediocre year much like the last one. The world will focus on the new tragedies and the new wars and the new catastrophes while overlooking the starving and helpless people and situations that occur. We just don't seem to learn from our past mistakes. We spend so much of our present and future building armies and navies and missiles and fighter planes and bombs and bullets and so little on helping ourselves to a healthier, happier future. We have done it over and over and over for centuries and centuries. We talk peace and brotherhood while threatening each other with bigger and bigger clubs. I doubt that there has been a year in our history where some country on this earth was not at war with another.

Maybe this year will be different.

Wednesday December 28, 2005 Lost our focus

We focus way too much on ourselves.

We think about what WE want and where WE are going and how WE are going to get there and WE forget to focus on those around us. Once we look outside ourselves, our immediate problems seem to diminish. There are so many people on this earth worse off then we are. If we can focus on helping someone else our cares and woes will fade away. We get so wrapped up in the “poor me”s that we don't stop to look at our overall situation. No matter what situation we are in, we still have much to be thankful for.

Christmas time is a time to focus on doing for others and helping others and giving love and attention to others. But on Christmas day it seems we give up that focus and start getting the “gimmees”. Now it's more about what WE got and what WE didn't get and what WE are going to do next. We turn our focus inward and start to consider what WE are going to do in the upcoming new year. I guess we have done all we are going to do for the hopeless and helpless and we shove thoughts of them into the background of our immediate cares.

We'll think about them again next Christmas.
Right now we have more pressing matters to deal with.

Wednesday December 21, 2005 Memories of Christmas

It's Christmas time.
We get wrapped up in the events and the presents and all the holiday festivities.
It's also time to think about those who are not here with us to share the season.
We all have someone far away who won't be here this year to hug or shake hands. We can only send them a brief thought of how we would like to have shared this moment in time with them and hope that they indeed know that fact.

There are many friends and relatives from our past that we might think of at this time of the year. They helped make this time special way back then. Some are gone and some are far away and some have faded from memory. Even though they may not receive our thoughts, it is good to remember them and thank them for the memories they gave us. We can only hope that wherever they are, they will receive our kind thoughts as we tuck another Christmas into our memories.

I wish all of you who can't be with me a very Merry Christmas!
Know that you are in my thoughts.

Saturday December 17, 2005 Greed

It hurts when you see all the injustice and cruelty and know that you can't really solve the problem.

You know, deep down inside, that we should all be loving and caring people and should be looking out for each other and that there really isn't any need for our fellow companions to be starving or hurting. All we need to do is to reach out and help each other. You do your little part, but it's a drop in the ocean.

The ones that could really make a difference are the rich and powerful and they don't seem to be able to see the problems of the ordinary people. They are more concerned with keeping their wealth and expanding their power. Those born with wealth and power have no idea of how ordinary people live and what their concerns are. They dabble with charities but they are never immersed in the culture of the poor. You and I know that if we each help just one other person and that person helps another and the chain continues, it would be a better world. But when you are homeless and hungry and have nowhere to turn, there is little you can do. Those who can help don't know how and those who want to help don't have the assests and those who need help are left wanting.

We turn to our government to help us help ourselves, but more and more we find that our governement is being run by the rich and powerful who don't even understand what the problems are. Somehow, this earth that we all share has become a world of haves and have-nots. The wealth has shifted to a very few and the rest of us are left on the outside looking in.

I still believe that a person should get what he works for and that all people can't expect the same rewards if their efforts haven't been as effective, but inheritated wealth and power too quickly divides the world into artificial classes of people and improperly distributes the assests of this planet we all share. Earlier leaders understood this and redistributed the wealth by way of inheritance taxes and graduated income taxes. They knew that the strength of our country depended on the general financial health of all of our citizens. We have abandoned those ideas and now have a greater and growing division of wealth and power between those who have and those who have not.

It seems that greed wins out over love of fellow man.

Friday December 16, 2005 Please wake me up!

What a dream!
Well, really it's a nightmare!

I am dreaming that we elected this fellow as president, but he is only a stooge for the special interests. While he is trying to cut the taxes for his rich buddies, the nation comes under attack. At first he seems dumbfounded, but it gives him the excuse to invade some other countries that he doesn't like anyway. He lies to the people about what the real reason is for invading those countries and anybody that disagrees with him gets shouted down as being unpatriotic.

He believes that he has the power to spy on his own people and jail anybody he wants to and even to torture any prisoners he feels are a threat. While this is going on, he is trying his best to dismantle all the environmental acts that have been passed before. He is on his way toward dismantling social security and reforming medicare when the fallout from the war causes him to pull back for a bit. He goes ahead and makes many of the tax cuts permanent while increasing the national debt and cutting back on aid to the states for education and health.

He spins the truth to suit the situation and gives great sounding names to some of the programs he initiates, while all the time he is trying to give back the running of the country to the business executives and take it away from the ordinary people.

It has been a long nightmare and the memories will probably be with me the rest of my life. When you have nightmares like this, you just want to wake up to a sane and secure world and know that all is right with the world.

Please wake me up and tell me it's all been a bad dream!

Monday December 12, 2005 Why are we still there?

December 12, 2005 WASHINGTON (AP) -

Most Iraqis disapprove of the presence of U.S. forces in their country, yet they are optimistic about Iraq's future and their own personal lives, according to a new poll.
More than two-thirds of those surveyed oppose the presence of troops from the United States and its coalition partners and less than half, 44 percent, say their country is better off now than it was before the war, according to an ABC News poll conducted with Time magazine and other media partners.

_Two-thirds express confidence in the Iraqi army and in police.
_Half now say the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq was wrong, up from 39 percent in February 2004.
_More than six in 10 say they feel safe in their neighborhoods, up from 40 percent in June 2004.
_Six in 10 say local security is good, up from half in February 2004.

The leaders have asked us to leave as soon as possible. The people disapprove of our presence. WHAT ARE WE DOING THERE? WHY DO WE REMAIN?

Sunday, December 11, 2005 A victim in the making

If we think of ourselves as victims, we become victims.

If we assume that we have reached the pinnacle of our lives and cannot achieve any better, we never will progress further. There are those in this country who see themselves as outcast and downtrodden and they will carry this with them throughout their lives. On the other hand, we have people come to this country with nothing but they see opportunity to improve their lives and they work to make it happen. It does help to have money and power behind you, but it isn't essential. If you truly believe in yourself and that you will succeed, you have taken the first step toward making your life better. Life is all about choices. Many people believe that the choices are thrust upon them and that they have no choice, but if they ignore the obvious and easy choices in front of them and choose the more difficult and time consuming choice that underlies their furture, they will take charge and change their own destiny.

With diligence and hard work, you can rid yourself of debt and take back control of your finances and your own future – you must choose to do so and work to make it happen. With effort, you can start at the bottom and climb higher – you must believe in yourself and work to make it happen. Nothing will be handed to you and there is no easy way to build yourself a solid foundation without this time and effort, but it is worth it and will help you throughout your days. You will gain experience and develop that self pride that others will recognize and appreciate.

You are not a victim! You have the choice right here and right now to improve the rest of your life and make you own future.

Saturday December 10, 2005 What, me worry?

I think we take ourselves too seriously most of the time.

We keep hoping that we will have some wonderful insight about how we came to be here and what our purpose in life is. Actually, if we live a good life and bring as much joy to those around us as we can, we will have done our best. Of all the billions of people who came before us, not too many get remembered beyond a century and certainly not beyond a millenium – just a very few. All these people were here, doing their best to make a life, and yet they were soon forgotten. I think the pool is too large for us to make much of a splash or leave a very big wave behind us. Be happy if you can leave things a bit better for those you leave behind and perhaps they will remember you for a while after you have gone.

If you reached for the golden ring and failed, at least you tried. If you kept your nose to the grindstone your whole life, you missed seeing a beautiful world. Don't take yourself too seriously – just look for the joy and appreciate it when you find it.

Friday December 9, 2005 No Degrees!

There are no degrees outside!
I have one of those digital thermometers and it shows zero degrees.

Where did the degrees go?

Every other day of the year there are some degrees out there, but not today.
Did they migrate to the south with the birds?

What really bothers me now is what if we go below zero?
Do we have to borrow degrees from somewhere else?
Who would be willing to lend us some of their degrees?
Would we have to pay interest?

I went outside to get the paper and sure enough, there were no degrees out there. It's breathtaking when there are no degrees. I think I had better stay inside until somebody finds some degrees for us to share.

Stay warm.

Thursday December 8, 2005 We got snow!

We got snow yesterday, lots and lots – for us.

It ended up being about 10” of light dry snow. Not the wet stuff that you can make into snowmen. It's the light stuff that blows back over the path that you just shoveled. It packs nicely between the treads of your tires and lets them slide when you try to go or try to stop. It's too cold to sprinkle salt, so the snow will stay until the temperature rises. One thing nice about this type of snow (powder) is that it doesn't break tree limbs. It just sits there quietly and looks pretty. If you feel like it, you can wade out into the snow and take lots and lots of pictures. All of the schools around here are out for snow day. I suspect that the kids are all bundled up and sledding or sliding to their heart's content. It's a great day to sit inside and drink a cup of hot cocoa and gaze out the frosted window. Traffic is light and there's kind of a hush all over the world.

Christmas can't be far away.

Tuesday December 6, 2005 Baby, it's cold outside.

Baby, it's cold outside.

Of course, there is always comfort in knowing that it's colder someplace else – like Nome, Alaska. That always makes me feel a lot warmer! If I tell somebody how cold it is, they always have to tell some story about when it was “really” cold. That always makes me feel a lot warmer, too! Even when I'm by myself, I will look up the weather in someplace where it is worse. It's funny how you never look up where it is “better”. Someday, I can tell little children how cold I got back in the early part of this century when it was “really” cold.

At least the sun is shining. The sounds of crunchy grass is refreshing when you go outside to get the newspaper. Have you ever noticed how it becomes more silent when it gets colder. Maybe it's just my imagination, but when the temperature gets lower, it seems that the whole world withdraws into itself and hibernates, just waiting for the warmth to return. That's what I plan on doing.

Let me know when it's spring.

Monday December 5, 2005 I hate to be critical, BUT:

I hate to be critical, BUT:

It's been over 4 years since Bin-Laden's attack on New York and he is still at large.

Since May 1, 2003, when President Bush declared that major combat operations in Iraq had ended, 1,988 U.S. military members have died. Saddam is being defended by a former attorney general of the United States.

We have spent approximately 300 Billion dollars in Afghanistan and Iraq. Much more expense to come.

There were no weapons of mass destruction. There were no ties between Saddam and Al-Qaeda.

Since our invasion of Iraq the number of active terrorists in the mideast have increased.
Remember when George was first elected and we laughed when he didn't know the name of foreign leaders and he had some difficulty twisting words around and we knew that he wouldn't really be good with foreign policy, but might be all right with domestic situations. He assured us that we could reduce the taxes and still balance the budget. We keep setting deficit records. We have no hope of balancing the budget.

His track record hasn't been great – has it? Where will it end?

Sunday December 4, 2005 How can you hate people you don't even know?

I don't know you. How can I hate you? I've never met you. I probably never will meet you in my life. The people in my life that I have dealt with personally can only number in the thousands – that leaves millions and millions of you that I will never come to know. Most of you don't have any idea of who I am and how I feel, but some of you hate me just because of where I was born. Some of you hate me because of my color or race or age. How did this come to be?

Since you have never met me, it must be a learned thing. Someone in your life has taught you how to hate me, even though they or you have never met me. If we met, we could very likely learn from each other and even come to like or at least respect each other. Instead, we learn from our teachers or our leaders to hate anyone who is not like us. Anyone who doesn't think like us is evil. Only people like us are good. We know the answers and everyone else is wrong.

I think we've proved this to each other over the centuries. In the name of religion or commerce or peace, we have killed millions of each other. Here in America, we “discovered” a new world and eliminated millions of the previous inhabitants. We have fought the French, the English, the Canadians, the Mexicans, the Spanish, the Germans, the Japanese, the North Koreans, the Vietnamese, the Iraqis. Those who once we considered our enemies have since become our friends or allies and some who were once friends are now considered enemies. We have wasted the resources and lives of generations of young men for some long forgotten reasons that seemed so important then. We learned over and over to hate and fight and kill. We are taught that this is human nature.

I don't believe this!
I don't hate you – I don't even know you. You have friends and family and are concerned with providing yourself and your family the best life that you can – just like me. I don't want to take from you what is yours. I want us to share whatever we can to give us all as much comfort in this life as possible. I don't want you to take from me – but I don't mind sharing. There must be a way we can all get along and help each other. We spend so much time hating and fighting and protecting and building walls that we have little left to share. We spend our future on the machines of war when we could be helping each other and tearing down the walls.

What's wrong with us? Why can't we learn from past mistakes?

Saturday December 3, 2005 A speck of stardust

We are all companions traveling through a huge almost infinite universe on one little speck of coagulated stardust. All we have is right here on our little planet. All we can hope to ever have is right here before us.

In our efforts to make ourselves more comfortable, we have tried to reshape our earth. We have been somewhat successful and somewhat unsuccessful. Some of us are more comfortable and some of our reshaping has damaged our fragile environment. We seem bent on arguing with each other and spending more and more of our precious resources on destroying each other than helping each other. If we occupied ourselves with as much energy and effort helping our fellow companions and protecting our little planet, we might find that we indeed could have a paradise.

Someday our sun, in its throws of death, will become a red giant and its atmosphere will encompass our earth destroying whatever is left. We, in all our glory, cannot stop this from happening. Mankind will probably not survive until that time. Whatever we leave behind, whether wonderful or ugly, will be consumed by the sun. All we can hope for is to leave a better home for those that follow us so they can have some degree of comfort. We aren't doing well so far, but it isn't too late yet.

We seem to have a distorted view of our importance in this universe. We really don't matter much in the overall history of all things. We may turn out to be a very short lived species on a backwater planet out in the suburbs of a small galaxy. We may feel like the king of the hill, but we haven't seen much more than our own backyard and we are leaving a real mess there.
I hope that each of us will try to give some degree of comfort to some of our fellow companions.

Maybe we can help each other find some peace and love.

Friday December 2, 2005 Christmas is coming

Christmas is coming in just a few weeks. I remember the eager anticipation of that glorious day when I was a child. We've gotten away from the religious significance of the season and have concentrated on the commercial side of the “Holiday Season”. It has always had some of the commercial involved with the gifts, but the gifts used to be much simpler. We were more involved in the caroling and plays and decorating the Christmas tree and family get-togethers than just the amount or size of the gifts. Christmas was a time to celebrate peace and love and joy. It was a midwinter celebration of family and church and life. The season started right after Thanksgiving. Now it starts after Halloween. Now it seems to be about shopping and gifts and partying. It's not the same.

I still enjoy the season and I'm sure that young children are awed by the festivities. I would think that the children would become more jaded as they grow up and figure out that it is now a commercial venture. We just use the Holiday as an excuse to over indulge our senses with very little thought of why we are doing so.

Even so, I do wish everyone a Merry and Peaceful Christmas filled with love and family and maybe even a gift or two. Hopefully the peace and love will carry over into the new year that follows.

Wednesday November 30, 2005 Different Priorities

I was reading in the paper this morning that the Bush administration has asked for an additional 3.9 billion dollars for next year to help train and equip Iraqi troops. This is on top of the 10.6 billion dollars that lawmakers have already approved to rebuild Iraq's security forces.
In the same paper american college students were worried about the 14 billion dollar cuts over the next 5 years ito the federal student financial aid program. With this cut, many students may not be able to afford college in the coming years.

We are cutting school aid, we are cutting medical aid to the poor, we are reducing federal aid to the states while we are piling on the cost for an unnecessary war. Our congress is trying to reduce the budget by cutting as many programs as possible while, at the same time, our war costs escalate in dollars and lives.

It's infuriating that the people we have chosen to lead us can't see beyond the noses on their faces. I have no idea what the real reason was for this invasion of another country, but the reasons we were told proved to be untrue and possibly fabricated. We are mired in another country with nothing to gain but pain and enemies. We have turned the world against us and have proven to be the biggest bully on the planet.

I guess my priorities are different than our leaders.

Tuesday November 29, 2005 Enjoy the trip!

Are we there yet?

Children on a trip are so concentrated on the destination that they don't enjoy the trip. The world is passing you by each and every day. There are moments in each day to be savored and enjoyed and treasured. Too often we, like the children, become so focused on the goal that we have set that we forget to enjoy the moments passing by.

You spend so much time as a youth preparing for your life. Then you spend so much time acquiring and establishing a home and career. Then you have so much time to prepare for retirement. Then you have so much time to prepare for the end. It seems that we are continually packing our bags and preparing to move on to the next step or next adventure or next goal that we overlook something very precious – the moments of our lives that we are living right now. This particular moment with these particular surroundings and these fellow companions will never exist again – it is a rare and unique event that can be enjoyed fully or completely overlooked.

Enjoy the trip.

Saturday November 25, 2005 Minnesota winters

We were just talking about my wonderful foolish relatives up in frozen Minnesota. They actually think that winter is fun and they even look forward to it. We folks down here is slushy Missouri don't really understand what winter is. To us winter is sometimes sunny, sometimes cloudy, sometimes cold, sometimes warm, sometimes rainy, sometimes dry, sometimes snowy, sometimes icy and sometimes slushy. We don't know how to dress appropriately until the day arrives. We wonder if we have to shovel or if we can wait for the driveway to melt. It's very confusing down here. Up there they KNOW when winter has arrived and they KNOW that it is going to stay until the thaw. I think they enjoy the winter because you can be outside without any mosquitoes. But winter picnics have to be really frigid. I suppose once you get numb the wind chill doesn't bother you as much. I know many Minnesotans enjoy ice skating and ice fishing and snow mobiling and other such frolics in the winter. It's okay, they are really nice people. They have been trapped up there in the snow way too long – that's all.

Down here in slushy Missouri, we endure the confusion of winter just waiting for the spring that comes much earlier than up in Minnesota. That way we can mow grass for months and months.

Saturday November 26, 2005 Lost thoughts

Thoughts flicker!

(I must remember this thought) but they get forgotten before they can be expressed on paper. I wonder how many truly great thoughts and solutions have been lost over all the years. We'll never know, but I suspect that some of those lost thoughts were well worth preserving.

Sigh!

Friday November 25, 2005 Burp!

Thanksgiving is a wonderful time to spend with your family. There really isn't much else to do but sit down and eat and eat and eat. My problem is that everyone in my family is a great cook and when we get together there is just too much good food not to try at least some of everything. Unfortunately we fix enough food to last until Christmas so we prepare for hibernation by indulging to our stomach's displeasure. Way too much! But it was nice to get together and be with loved ones and to be thankful for all the blessings we have.

I just wish that everyone could be as blessed as I have been.

Wednesday November 16, 2005 Photos of the past

Photos are pictures of the past.

I was sorting through the pictures I had scanned into my computer, separating the various years into different folders. The years and events fade into the past and yet the photos bring back a memory of the moment or the person as if no time had passed. Time passes so quickly and people we once knew are no longer here and places we have been are no longer the same, and yet the memory lingers fresh and new just waiting to be relived in our minds. Time has a way of taking off the sharp edges off of memories. The bad times don't seem quite so bad and the good times seem tinged with gold.

It's nice to look back occasionally just to see where you have been and to help focus on what's important in the future.

Thursday November 10, 2005 To my friends at Builders Steel

To my friends at Builders Steel

How are you this bright and cheery morning?

It's been a while since last we met. I can tell you truthfully that although I miss your friendly faces and the great conversations we used to have, I don't miss the pressure at all. Retirement is a frame of mind that you must sink into. You really need to get comfortable with yourself and your surroundings and rediscover your personal interests. While you worked the center of your interests and scheduling was mostly concerned with the job, except for weekends and vacations. You put off many of your own interests and hobbies until some future date. For me that date has arrived. It takes a while to realize that you now have the freedom to do whatever you have the inclination or desire to do. You were so used to keeping a list of functions you had to perform and your time had to be structured to allow you to finish those functions on time. With retirement, there is no list or structuring or time requirement that you have to complete. You are free to be yourself and approach the day freely discovering what new and exciting things there are to be seen and enjoyed each and every day.

Many people, including me, when they first retire rush around trying to accomplish this and that and hate to waste a day. They are still in the “vacation from work mode” where you only have so many days to enjoy and must get the most out of every day. After a while you realize that you can afford the luxury of taking a whole day off without accomplishing a single thing and not feel guilty about it. At that point you have accepted retirement and are ready to greet the natural world about you.

I feel good about the years I spent with you and what we accomplished together. I will carry all of you pleasantly in my memories as I watch the passing of the seasons and explore who I have become and what lies ahead for me. Someday you will each reach your retirement and I hope you won't look forward with trepidation, but with anticipation. It's a great world out here and there is much beauty and much joy to discover.

I wish you health and happiness.

Tuesday November 1, 2005 Dad's Birthday

November 1, 2005
Dad would have been 90 years old today. I still miss him, but I don't begrudge his passing away in the manner he did. He suffered a little pain at the end but it wasn't overwhelming and his end came quickly with his family about him. He did well living that long and left fond and loving memories. He had a good life.

I was looking back over my life to see if I had any regrets. I have been blessed with a loving family throughout my entire life and this has been a great comfort to me always.
I have felt sorrow for many years that my marriage didn't survive, but there were compensations that arose after the divorce that I wouldn't have suspected. I was able to quit playing roles and look into myself and find out what was really important to me. Career became less important than family. Because I was alone and free, I was able to start up a loving relationship with my younger brother that wouldn't have been possible otherwise. I was able to spend much more time with my sisters and became much closer to them. When I moved in to help the folks, I was able to develop a deep and meaningful friendship with mom and dad. We were able to lean on each other for support and love. It was a rare opportunity that wouldn't have been possible without the events that lead up to that time. I wouldn't have been able to take my camping trip around the United States if I had remained married. The divorce enabled me to really be free to know myself and to know my family members more than otherwise possible. As time passed I feel that my daughters and I have passed beyond the father/daughter relationship into a much deeper friendship. We are able to trust and share with each other as loving friends who really care.

In summary, even though things didn't turn out like I had planned, my life has been a success and I have great memories and am surrounded by loving and caring family. Who could ask for anything more?

Monday October 31, 2005 Another bloody month

90 young men died this month in Iraq bringing the total deaths to 2,024.

Our war in Iraq, our war against drugs, our war on poverty all have something in common: they continue without success. We are great at starting but are poor at finishing. These young men were asked to sacrifice their all and they trusted their leaders to make sure their sacrifice was in a good cause. They accepted their orders in good faith that what they were asked to do would help protect their families and their country. We need to make sure that their efforts aren't wasted in a wrongful cause.

We have discovered that the initial reasons we were given that resulted in our preemptive invasion of Iraq were flawed, perhaps misleading and maybe even prepared lies to insure that the war would take place. The emphasis has shifted since the invasion took place and now the words are all about bringing freedom to the people of the region. Many of the people of the region are killing us and don't seem to appreciate the freedom we have brought them. Perhaps we shouldn't be there.

The question that still lingers in my mind is: If it truly wasn't about weapons of mass destruction and imminent danger, what was it truly about? Was it revenge directed toward Saddam? Was it all about the oil? I don't believe that it was about bringing freedom to the people, otherwise we would invade North Korea or some of the countries in Africa where people are really suppressed. What other reason to invade Iraq other than the assets they had that other countries didn't have?

How many more young men will sacrifice before we decide that this really isn't worth it?

Wednesday October 26, 2005 What, me worry?

As my daughter so aptly expressed: The only person who can make you happy is yourself. There is deep meaning in this phrase and it is absolutely true. No matter what trials and travails you face in your life, it is up to you how these circumstances affect you. You can wallow in the mire and say "Poor me!" or you can look to the hope of a brighter future. As long as you keep looking forward and try to find the joy in the moment, you will have a good life with few regrets. It's easy to forget this when a tragedy strikes nearby, but it is essential for you to keep your head up and keep on going. Many songs and many poems have said this basic truth over and over again and we all, at times, seem to overlook it. We get so concerned with the bump in the road that we forget to see where the road is leading us.

I have always considered myself to be a "lucky" individual and much of this is due to looking for the good in each situation that confronts me. Life can be very interesting and the path you eventually wind up traveling isn't always the path you thought you were going to follow, but it brought you to here and you have choices from here on out which way to go.