I got an investment letter in the mail noting that the artic thaw is a new multibillion-dollar opportunity.
Yes folks, this major earth catastrophe is a golden opportunity for the rich to get richer. The sea route running along the Artic coastline of North America is nearly ice free for the first time since records began. Now the Russians, United States, Canada and Denmark are all rushing to lay claim to the Artic.
Yes, thanks to global warming, deposits of natural resources once covered with impenetrable ice are now easier to get at and now icebound shipping lanes are opening up. There are large troves of undiscovered oil and gas and minerals like copper, zinc, cobalt and diamonds. Whoopee. We can be thankful for global warming!
Shipping from China to Europe will be 5,000 miles shorter than going through either canal. And now Canada and Russia will be able to ship their resources and products to anywhere in the world much faster.
Also, think of the new tourist spas opening up near the Artic circle once the rest of the world gets too hot to handle. Everyone will be dying to go north where the weather is great. Perhaps Greenland will actually be a green land now. With the middle west drying up and turning to a semi-arid desert-like region, the new wheat and corn belts will be up north in Canada, if there is enough top soil to handle it.
And thanks to global warming, bottled water will be worth much more as the lakes and rivers diminish and the snow pack no longer fills the reservoirs. There will be new investments for all to make a buck on, thanks to the miracle of global warming – at least for the survivors.
See, it's all in the way that you look at it. A catastrophe for many is an opportunity for others. A pot of oil at the end of the rainbow.