Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Wednesday May 18, 2005 Dear Dad

Dear Dad,

It’s okay that you left me behind. I hope you are reunited with Mom.

We had talked about death and we were both prepared for it eventually catching up with us. It still came as a surprise. I’m glad for you that there was no lengthy pain and suffering and that death came quickly and quietly. I will miss you terribly. You were there for me my whole life and I hadn’t realized how much strength I drew from your presence. Now my world feels diminished and there is a large void left to fill. I’m hoping that you left your body behind and that your spirit now dwells in peace and light.

Feeling this great loss that I do, I wonder how you were ever able to fill the void when Mom left you behind. I hope I do as well as you in that regard. Your extended family members drew together for mutual support and love. We were happy for you that you had a peaceful ending but we all miss you. Some of us had questions we never got around to asking you and now there will be some unsolved mysteries for us to deal with.

There are moments when my eyes fill with tears and my breath comes out in sighs, but my mind reminds me that you are in a better place and I’m just being selfish for wanting you here.

Go with peace. Good night, mein fader. I love you.

Your loving son,

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