Saturday March 25, 2006 Unmatched socks

It happened again!

I washed a load of clothes and one unmatched sock turned up. I keep all the unmatched socks separately knowing that if I threw out the unmatched socks the other sock would then come out of hiding. I believe there is a nest of unmatched socks somewhere in this house plotting their escape. I don't know if they mate for life – I'm not up on native sock lore, but I'm sure they believe that somehow they will reunite. Now remember that socks aren't too smart – after all, they are lacking brain matter – even when they are full. But, they are sneaky – very sneaky. You know how sometimes at night you wake up and don't know why (perhaps you heard something). You listen and then return to your slumber. It was one of the sneaky socks slithering away to hide in some unseen sock haven.

I thought I had figured out a defense for these escapees – I bought all black socks (a whole drawer full). I knew now that whenever one of my socks escaped I could match up the remaining member with another black sock.

Unfortunately, some black socks are heavier weight than others and some are longer than others and some have patterns woven into them and some have imprints of diamonds or stripes on them. I had to go out to the wholesale club and buy 8 dozen identical black socks (I wasn't going to let them win!). I also had to warn my friends and relatives not to give me socks for any occasion – they would just try to escape.

When I bought all those socks from the wholesale club I threw away my former socks – a fresh start! I felt much better then.

This morning one of the escaped unmatched socks turned up.

I think I'll hang it up on one of these extra hangers that keep turning up. (I have a whole closet full now).