Monday January 31, 2005 a day off

I took today off.

That's hard to do when you are retired. When you are retired, every day is like a holiday. Still, I took the day off - didn't do a darn thing. I was a lazy bum today and didn't even feel bad about it. I suppose that the feeling that you should accomplish something every day is a carry over from all those years of work. It's hard not to try to keep a list of things to do and try to get something done every day. It feels almost sinful to take a day off. It feels good.

I'll have to do this again someday.

Sunday January 30, 2005 Middle of winter

It's Sunday, and there is no football on TV. It's too cold for golf. It's brown and gray and cold - no great photos out there to take. I don't know what to do. We need a song for mid-winter blues. You know, something we can hum to make us feel better. Like April Showers helps in March and April. Maybe if there was snow on the ground, we could go out and play in the snow. Nah, we would just get cold and wet.

Oh well. At least it's Sunday and naps are good.

Maybe the sun will come out tomorrow.

Friday January 28, 2005 Thinking of mountains

Whenever I want to slip away from the worries of the world, I think of mountains. When you get up in the timeless mountains, away from cities and roads and people, you feel your presence in this life diminish and all the petty worries disappear. No matter what great accomplishments or destruction mankind does on this earth, the mountains survive and they bear witness to our passing. They were there long before we came and will be there long after we are gone. They, too, will eventually grow old and wear down but their time frame makes ours insignificant.

There is a peace and cleanliness in the mountains from forests and streams and blue skies and white clouds. I like to go there and become a rock. You just sit and become part of the landscape. Sometimes the wildlife will accept your presence and you will see them peacefully going about their business. It's a feeling that you never lose.

When the world becomes too much for you, think of mountains and breathe the mountain air.

January 27, 2005 I'm suspect

I'm suspect of people who won't admit a mistake. Now, I know that it's hard to do so, but we all know that we make a mistake now and then. Even the people with the best intentions will make mistakes. These mistakes for most of us don't amount to much and generally hurt only ourselves or our pride. When people in important positions who dictate life and death decisions for others make mistakes, the consequences are generally hard to live with, but that goes with the territory. It scares me when people in power, who have made a mistake, won't admit that their decision might have been wrong. To me, this means that the same type of mistake may be made again and again. It's only human to make a mistake and it's human to learn from our mistakes and try not to make the same mistake again.

Maybe we have decision makers who think they can't make mistakes - that's a mistake in itself.

Monday January 24, 2005 A Sunny Day

The sun came out this morning. It sure makes a difference in your attitude to look out on a sunny world instead of a dreary cloudy winter morning. It seems to remind you that Spring will return, eventually. Right now the grass is brown and the trees are bare and everything looks like it is dormant and waiting, but the sky is blue and the sun is shining and ther is a thought of Spring in my heart.

Sunday January 23, 2005 Family Day

Sunday has always been a day for family. Years ago, I would get together with my daughters and go to the zoo or a show. Later, my daughters would bring their boyfriends/husbands and we would go out exploring the back roads and eat breakfast out. We built some great memories together. As my parents got older, my sisters and brother and I would get together every Sunday with them. We became good friends with each other and our parents.

Time passes and people pass away or move away and the group has dwindled, but Sunday is still a day for family and reflection about times past.

Over the years, friends and fellow workers and neighbors come and go but you always have your family. It's a comforting thought on this family day.

January 22, 2005 NO THOUGHTS TODAY

I have no thoughts today. I must have lost my mind. I tried hard to find some unique and special revelation to put down on netpaper, but failed. Obviously, this must be blogger block. Maybe my mind took the weekend off.

More tomorrow, assuming my mind returns.

Friday January 21, 2005

I think I liked the world better when I was a child and didn't know what was going on. Back then, you weren't hammered with world news 24 hours a day. Your world and the important news was confined to the events directly around you. Whatever happened in the rest of the world you would find out about way after it had happened. You cared about your own weather, not the blizzards in Alaska or the hurricanes in Florida. They weren't concerned about your tornados. I miss those simpler days. Even now, you really can't do much about what is happening in other parts of the world - but since you know about it, you feel partially responsible for finding a solution. When you go on vacation, you spend one or two weeks without following the news and the world goes on without you. Maybe I just need to take a vacation from watching the news and just enjoy my little corner of the world for now.

Thursday January 20, 2005

Thursday January 20, 2005 Inauguration (coronation?) Day

Whoopee!

Four more years - of the same.

Maybe we can stretch this war out for four more years, or perhaps declare "mission accomplished" and start another one in Iran or Cuba.
Cuba may have weapons of mass destruction left over from the Bay of Pigs.

In any event, the sun will come out tomorrow. Tomorrow is just a day away.

Wednesday January 19, 2005

For those of you who don't like to think too far ahead -
Today is the first day of the rest of your week.

It's Wednesday (Wodens day - named for a scandanavian god)
I don't know how he got into the picture.

Have a good day.

Tuesday January 18, 2005

Okay, so I've been putting way too many pictures on my blog and not enough thoughts. It's just that I keep reviewing my photo albums and keep finding pictures that are so interesting to me that I feel others might like. I'll try to control myself and just put one or two at a time while sharing deep, philosophical thoughts about our place in the universe (or not!).

We all need to lighten up sometimes and let ourselves hang loose. Have a great day!

Monday January 17, 2005 A UNIQUE DAY

Today is somebody's day of birth. Today is somebody's day of death. This day, of all the days ever to be, is unique and special. There will never be another day exactly like this one. You can let this day slip away into the stream of unrecorded days, never to be remembered, or you can take note of just one memorable thing about this day to carry with you the rest of your life. That memory will make this day one to cherish.

If only we could all do that with each day of our lives.

Life is so sweet and slips away so fast.

Sunny Sunday January 16, 2005

Ahhhhhhh. Sunday morning at last! No alarms, no duties, sleep till you wake up and then just lie there and daydream in the peaceful quiet of another Sunday morning. I love Sunday mornings. There is no hurry and rush - no reason to jump up and get moving immediately if not sooner. No big list of things that must be done. A day of peace and reflection. It helps that today is sunny and the sky is blue - it really makes my day.

Saturday January 15, 2005

Yes!!! It's Saturday and we made it through another week. Have you noticed how long the days are in January. I suppose it's because we had so much time off in November and December. Now starts the long cold dark dreary winter days when we leave for work in the dark and return from work in the dark. Luckily, Saturday gives us a day to take a deep breath and enjoy the world around us. There IS sunlight out there. Today we get to do what we want to do when we want to do it - a real freedom. Enjoy today.

January 14, 2005 How cold is it?

How cold is it? No matter how cold it is where you are, there is always someplace else that is colder. No matter what cold story you have to tell, someone always has one to top yours. I guess the coldest it can get is absolute zero and even the sub-atomic particles shiver when it gets that cold. It sure feels cold where I am, but I know that one of you is probably much colder than me. That doesn't make me feel any warmer.

January 13, 2005 mid winter blues

It's hard, in the middle of winter, to think about spring breezes and summer winds. We tend to wrap ourselves in our blankets of misery and cold depression and mumble woeful sayings. Poor me, poor me! Well, the sun still shines and the stars are still bright at night and there is warmth by the fire and a crispness in the air. There is a wintry silence outside that seems to cloak the world in anticipation. It is a time to cleanse the soul and prepare for whatever comes next. Keep looking for the joy.

January 12, 2005 a winter's day

Yesterday someone said "I can’t wait till Spring". They really hate the winter and the gray and the cold. But in the process of discarding a whole season waiting for a better one, they are wishing away a good portion of their life. What if we did this with all of the undesirable moments in our lives? We could wish away many of the years of school and all the things we learned. We could wish away the hours of work and miss all the relationships that develop there. By the time we wished away all the supposedly bad times we wouldn’t have much left to enjoy. It’s better to look for the joy in each moment. There is some beauty in the world around us - just look for it. There is something to enjoy today - you just need to find it. Have a bright and cheery, lovely winter’s day.

January 11, 2005

For many years, I played the role of man, husband and father in accordance with what I thought I was supposed to do. Many of us act out our lives this way without really knowing ourselves and what we think.

With me, it was divorce and losing my home, my wife and daughters, my dogs, my "things" that brought me down to think what was really important in my life. I wasn't "things". It wasn't position or power. It wasn't money. I spent time in deep reflection finding out what wasn't important. After you've lost all that seemed important to you, you have to really think about what you really miss.

As the years go by, all the "things" you accumulated, all the money you piled up, all the great accomplishments you had don't really count for much. They were transient and lose their value quickly. It's the memories you carry and the people you have touched that really matter. You need to live each day to its fullest and bring joy and comfort to those around you. You give yourself to life and you get memories and love.

I lost a lot in order to find this out, but it changed my life. I stopped playing a role and became me.

January 10, 2005 additional thoughts

Photographs are captured moments of events that you passed through in your life. Those moments are frozen in time and looking at the photograph will take you back in time to that moment in your life. If you never look up to enjoy the trip, you will have no memories to look back upon. You will have no photographs to enjoy and share. My life has given me much to look back upon and I share a few of those moments with you.

January 10, 2005

Monday morning - what more can I say? Grainy days and Mondays always get me down. Grainy (gray and rainy). It's terrible to wish your life away and Mondays are 1/7 th of your entire life, so you need to find some way to make Mondays more enjoyable. Most of us wish that Mondays would just go away or at least lie dormant and let us just endure for a better day tomorrow. Maybe if we were allowed to just go to work or school for 1/2 day on Monday and ease into the week? Monday would seem more like a holiday. At least someone had the foresight to make Mondays the 3 day holidays when possible. Hang in there through another Monday and celebrate Tuesday morning once it comes.

January 9, 2005

There had been an argument and we went to bed in silence. Then, under the covers, your cold feet searched for and found my warm feet and I accepted. We embraced and all was right with the world once more. I stretched out to touch your feet again but they were gone. It had been a dream. I was awake and more alone that before. The memory of the dream lingered on.
Isn’t it strange what we dream? Past loves and events continue in our dreams although the details, places and timelines often get confused. In my dreams a marriage that ended long ago continues and former jobs and homes exist in a world of their own. I don’t mind. For the most part my dreams give me a feeling of continuity with my past, but they also touch my soul with lost hopes and aspirations.
The dream was sweet. I will savor it’s touch through the rest of the dark and lonely night.

January 8, 2005

Each season has it’s own particular beauty. The woods across the street from me appeared frozen and devoid of life. It looked like another dreary winter day. Five deer appeared on the edge of the woods and peacefully wandered up the hill grazing on the exposed tender branches at the edge of the woods. They seemed to be unaware of the cold and dreariness. Life goes on. Sometimes it’s the way we look at life that changes our attitude.

January 7, 2005

I counsel my friends and relatives to have no "if only’s" in their life. Each decision in your life leads you in a different direction. That decision may lead you in a different direction than you had planned but if you made the decision with some forethought, it will ultimately lead you to where you want to go. It is not the destination that is so important - rather it is the trip getting there that gives your life meaning. Enjoy the trip and observe what happens along the way - you will have great memories to look back on.

January 6, 2005

An icey morning. I see footprints in the grass left by some wandering soul during the night. The path of devastation leaves shards of broken frozen grass. Silence has taken over the world and each blade of grass and each branch of every tree is encased in a crystal casket from which no sound escapes. I wait for the sun and the return of warmth.